“Having a conversation with a partner about their online life and what they expect from communication can help address current concerns andavoid future conflicts." -Nicholas DeFazio, MRC, LPCC-S, LICDC
Social media has become commonplace over the past decade. If you're a Facebook guy or maybe an Instagram or Twitter guy, you know how easy it is to get sucked into a social media feed for hours. Facebook, like all other social networking sites, is not to blame for ruining relationships, but it is a tool that will ruin relationships if used incorrectly. The ability to connect with people all over the world is still a relatively new technology, and we're still trying to figure out how to put it to good use as a society. There's nothing "wrong" with Facebook per se, but it can lead to major arguments in relationships and even lead to divorce.
The next time you're browsing your Facebook feed, think about your intentions for using the social networking site. Are your intentions good and kind, or are you using Facebook for a more sneaky type of game? Here are ten reasons whyFacebook can ruin relationships.
1. Seeing other couples' posts can lead to jealousy
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More and more people have been talking lately about the fact that social networks do not show the true and complete person through their posts. Someone might post a loving photo with their partner on their Facebook page, but their friends have no way of knowing if the couple is okay or if they fought just before the photo was taken. And when you're going through a tough time, it's even easier to feel like your life sucks compared to your friends and what they post online. Even though you know it's just part of the story, you feel jealous of the trips other couples take or how cute a couple is while your partner is too busy to do anything nice lately. Comparison makes you underestimate what you already have.
2.
From what you ate this morning to the argument you had with your partner, nothing is off limits. Facebook makes it easy to complain when you're angry, complain when you're upset, and seek sympathy from others. But if you talk about personal matters between you and your partner, your partner might not like it very much. Or maybe it's your partner who's oversharing and you're the one who's uncomfortable.
3. Couples can spend a lot of time commuting instead of being together
Facebook can be a huge waste of time. There's nothing easier than passively scrolling through a feed, looking at text posts, memes, images and life events. Before you know it, you could have spent hours scrolling through Facebook. If you're feeling a little distant from your partner, check out their social media habits. Maybe you can reduce how often you check Facebook during the day.
- Facebook can lead to temptations of love affairs
Scammers will always find a way to rip you off, but Facebook makes it easy to find and talk to people outside of your marriage or relationship. Maybe it's an old crush who sent you a friend request, or an acquaintance who's a bit flirty on Facebook Messenger, and if you're not careful, harmless messages or friend requests can turn into full-fledged affairs. It's always a good idea to be selective about who your friends are, no matter how innocent you think you are.
4. Facebook can cause relationship anxiety
Partner "A" loves to post pictures on Facebook. On trips and on a daily basis, they take a lot of pictures with their partner. But partner "B" isn't much of a Facebook person. They have and sometimes comment or like their friend's posts, but rarely interact with their partner "A"'s posts. Partner "A" becomes restless. Does my partner still love me? Why don't you like my posts? You comment on other people's photos, why not mine? Do you mind? Partner 'A' loves to post pictures on Facebook. On trips and on a daily basis, they take a lot of pictures with their partner. But partner "B" isn't much of a Facebook person. They have and sometimes comment or like their friend's posts, but rarely interact with their partner "A"'s posts. Partner "A" becomes restless. Does my partner still love me? Why don't you like my posts? You comment on other people's photos, why not mine? Are you still interested in me? This is just one example of how Facebook can lead to relationship anxiety. Facebook also allows you to update your relationship status on your profile. If one partner wants you to be "Facebook official" but the other doesn't, that could also raise concerns.
5. People sometimes think that Facebook can replace real privacy.
Speaking of posting cute pictures, couples can easily use social media to replace real intimacy in their relationship. They will post pictures all the time or tag themselves in birthday posts with a sweet message about how much they love their partner. You can even send and receive messages in Messenger – flirty messages and sweet compliments. But offline, the relationship stagnates. True intimacy is face to face. Just because you can post nice things online doesn't mean you've stopped saying them in person. The Internet is not a substitute for real conversations and quality time.
6. One partner might use Facebook more than the other
How often a person uses Facebook can be a controversial topic in relationships. A partner who spends a lot of time on Facebook can leave the other feeling ignored or left out. It's common for couples to argue about how much time they spend on their phones. When it's as easy as opening an app and scrolling through a Facebook feed, it's so much easier to ignore your partner sitting next to you.
7. Partners read each other's Facebook posts a lot
If a partner is feeling insecure about the relationship, that partner might choose to check Facebook to try to find out how their partner is feeling. You might see a few likes on pictures of an attractive friend, or read a text post that leaves you looking unhappy, and then jump to the conclusion that your partner wants to end the relationship. It's very easy to make assumptions based on a few interactions someone has had on social media. And because they've come to a bad conclusion, that partner doesn't want to jump in and ask if it's true for fear that the relationship will end. So they keep following their partner's Facebook and hope that somehow things will change. This is not a way of life and leads to unnecessary anxiety.
8. Some couples use Facebook to showcase their relationship
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Facebook can also be a place to brag when things are going well. And the bigger the event, the more likes and comments posts get. This can be a great ego boost that couples can keep fighting over. They will start doing things precisely because of the attention they get on social media. But "doing it for such a thing" can only bring you so much happiness. Eventually you will want more, and only real interaction can give you that.
9. Some partners keep their passwords secret or have secret profiles
Trust is an important part of any relationship. Therefore, if one of the partners does not want the other to have their Facebook account password, it is worrying to think that this could result in a lack of trust. Using the Facebook account password, Partner A will correctly assume that Partner B is doing something they shouldn't see. The downside of this is having a completely secret account. Whether under a fake or well-hidden name, using social media outside of a partner's supervision is highly suspect. Hiding passwords or profiles is often a sign of fraud.
Facebook is not the true enemy of relationships; they are bad decisions. You can choose to use Facebook for its original purpose: connecting with family and friends, or using it to cheat or hide things from your partner. Your choices do not make the site "good" or "bad". The page is what you decide to use it with will determine the fate of your relationship.
If you are feeling anxious or distressed about your partner's use of Facebook, or if you and your partner fight a lot over Facebook or other social media, you should seek help from a counselor. To get started with ReGain, visitReGain.us/start.
Ask your partner for permission to post
A healthy relationship is based on communication. If you look at child development, children learn to resolve conflicts by talking to each other. Young children don't have Facebook profiles like adults. When we talk about relationships between adults, let's remember the development of children. When you read relationship articles on Psychology Today, one of the hot topics is communication. Remember that being open and honest is crucial in relationships. It's better to talk face to face than with your partner online. Whether you're an associate professor of psychology or a layperson in the field, you know that talking to your partner is crucial. Communication can demystify any insecurities you may have in your relationship with your partner. When it comes to Facebook or any other social network, it's important to ask your partner's approval on what to post if you're involved.
You don't have to read an article in Psychology Today to know that it's important to respect your partner's voice. Facebook is harmless fun when you use it in a way that encourages this virtual environment. You don't want social media to ruin your relationship. Make sure your partner feels good before posting. There are different levels of Facebook usage. Some would say that others are addicted to social media. When you post something online, your Facebook friends will read what you write. Some people turn to social media for style, beauty, food, drink, or celebrity gossip. Many different networking sites can provide this information. What you do in bed can ruin your relationship if you reveal those intimate details online. If your partner agrees with what you say, that's one thing. But if you don't ask her, that's another story.
When it comes to what you post on Facebook, it affects your partner and your partner must be taken into account. When it comes to marital status, one can argue about when to make your love official on Facebook. This is something for you and the person venturing to decide. This can be one of your goal markers in your relationship. If someone doesn't officially want to be Facebook, it doesn't mean they don't want you. This can be a problem if both partners are not on the same page. It's important to ask your partner if it's okay to post on Facebook that you're "in a relationship".
do not fight online
In a healthy relationship, people talk personally about important issues. People who work in the gym don't want their members to watch an online discussion with their partner. Imagine an adjunct professor fighting with his wife and college students watching. This is not right. It is important to avoid discussing serious issues with your partner on social media. If you choose to behave this way, it may appear that you didn't intend to. There are articles on Psychology Today that talk about using social media in relationships and how it can intensify arguments. You can read about these concerns. Be careful what you post and if you are angry, step away from the screen. Whether your partner reads it or your Facebook friends see it, there is no sound in the text. It's best to discuss emotional issues in person. Social media is a place to connect with family, friends and new acquaintances. There are people who diagnose people based on their online behavior. If you're struggling with a specific issue like infidelity, you don't need people on Facebook to see what you're struggling with, and you can read articles about cheating on Psych Central or Psychology Today instead.
Treat your partner the way you would like to be treated
On social networking sites, everyone in your circle of friends can see what you post. If you're in a healthy relationship, you want to maintain a good connection. Work with your partner to set goals for how you want to be treated. There are many articles online about relationship issues and how social media can affect you and your partner. You can search Psychology Today and find a huge number of articles on these topics. Not sure if you can trust them. Psychology Today has advice on how to build trust in your relationship. Working to trust your partner is crucial if you want them to believe in you. You want to treat your partner the way you want to be treated in your relationship.
Be respectful of them and ask if they feel comfortable posting something that affects them. Some college students have posted things about their relationships or other people's associations that have messed up relationships. Your online behavior influences your relationship with your partner. Facebook friends don't have to see everything you're going through with your partner. Some people live a screenless existence and it benefits their relationship. You may have trust issues with your partner. They fear that if you don't check what they are doing it could have adverse consequences like cheating. These are things you can talk about with a family therapist. Discussing personal matters on social networking sites can jeopardize privacy.
High Facebook usage can lead to depression. If you're looking for emotional validation on social networking sites, this is a recipe for disaster. One reason is that you compare yourself to other couples. Some clients have told intimate secret therapists about compulsively checking Facebook to see if their partner is cheating on them. You can work on learning positive psychology to ensure healthy behavior online. You can read about positive psychology at Psychology Today. Facebook can cause major relationship problems.
Facebook affects relationships. Sometimes it's forever and other times it can damage those connections. If you're harming someone with something you've posted, it's important to acknowledge that. Maybe you don't see how Facebook affects relationships because it didn't happen to you. Sometimes there are posts that your partner, relationship, or others find offensive online. Facebook has damaged many relationships because of offensive posts. There are some instances where you cannot control how others see you. For example, some people diagnose personality disorders when the Internet is not an appropriate place to do so. Only a licensed psychiatrist should diagnose and treat a person. Even if you are a therapist, you shouldn't diagnose anyone other than your client and certainly not based on your social media posts! A social network is not a place to deal with mental health issues. Regardless, you are in control of what you say or don't say. Keep in mind that your online footprint can affect not only your current relationships, but your future romantic interests as well.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Can Facebook Ruin Relationships?
If you refer to the 10 Ways Facebook Can Ruin Relationships in the above article, you know that Facebook can highlight relationship issues for Facebook users. Usually, it's not Facebook itself that causes a relationship to fail. Usually, the platform just emphasizes something or opens up a possibility that already exists. When people initially create a Facebook account, it's mostly with good intentions. We often create and maintain social media accounts because we want to keep in touch with others, for example. For example, with those we went to college with, with friends and family, and even acquaintances we've known forever. Social networks are beneficial in this regard. In some cases, however, things can get ugly.
Why is Facebook bad for relationships?
Facebook can provoke jealousy. You might see your spouse or partner liking photos of mutual friends, or you might compare yourself to others on your feed. Social media can also affect relationships, sex, and family life in a distracting way. One way to ensure that your sex and family life is not affected by social media is to limit the time you spend on Facebook and other platforms. Track how long you're online and make sure you're prioritizing real connections.
Also, it's important to consider whether social media is impacting your mental health in any way. If you struggle with eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or any other mental illness, you may find platforms like Facebook display triggering or unhelpful content. While this isn't the case for everyone, if it's helpful to you, it's important to recognize when triggers appear and turn them off. If you are struggling with a mental illness such as bipolar disorder, eating disorders or depression, it is important to consult a mental health professional.
Why does social media ruin relationships?
Jealousy, comparison and lack of trust can ruin relationships. Social media runs the risk of amplifying these things. This gives us a greater opportunity to compare ourselves with others. Even if these people are friends and family, social media can make someone's life seem perfect. In the case of relationships, you might compare yourself to someone who seems to have the "perfect relationship." This can be harmful. You might start by projecting the idea of a perfect relationship onto your partner, making them feel bad about themselves, or making them feel like they're not good enough in their love relationship. If social media is affecting how you view yourself or your relationship, it might be time to take a break from social media.
Taking a break from social media can be difficult if you've never done it before and are struggling with social media addiction. It's best to deactivate your account so you won't be tempted to log in. You may find that turning off social media brings you closer to the people in your life. It forces you to talk directly to them rather than checking their page to see how they're doing, giving you a more accurate look into their lives and a greater sense of closeness.
How does social media affect relationships?
As mentioned above, social media can lead to jealousy and comparison, both of which can affect mental health and relationships. Obsession with social media is another thing that can affect relationships. If you're obsessed with social media, you might get distracted by the areas of life you want to be more involved in, including romantic relationships. Social media addiction is a very real thing. Social media addiction is excessive use of social media that feels compulsive. You may feel addicted and even experience emptying or withdrawal symptoms if you don't use it.
Both in a new relationship and in a serious relationship, problems can arise when all the details of your relationship become public knowledge. Venting about you and your partner's arguments via Facebook status instead of working things out with them not only robs you and your partner of the opportunity to resolve an issue, it also robs all of your friends and family. form opinions and comment publicly. about your personal life. This pattern can quickly become confusing and derail a relationship, so it's important to stop it before it interferes.
How can I stop Facebook from ruining my relationship?
First, limit the use of the platform. Think about why you are on Facebook and why you created your account in the first place. Is there a reason to keep your profile? For example, do you have old friends or classmates you'd like to keep in touch with? Are you on Facebook for fun groups related to the hobbies you enjoy? If so, use it exclusively for these things. Don't compare yourself or your relationship to others and stop scrolling when the behavior starts. Express your concerns about your relationship with your partner directly rather than asking for opinions online and, if necessary, contact a couples counselor for help. Also, don't be afraid to deactivate your account if it's something you might benefit from. Sometimes it's better to back off entirely, especially if you're often tempted to use social media in harmful ways.
Can social media break up a relationship?
In general, it will not be the social networks themselves that will break a relationship. If you catch your partner cheating on you on social media, the problem isn't social media. Rather, it's the fact that your partner is cheating on you. There are different ways that social media can affect a relationship or affect a breakup. This includes arguments about how much time you spend on social media, arguments over who you talk to on social media, arguments over the posts you make, the tendency to air your relationship on Facebook instead of talking to your partner, jealousy, comparisons with other people and more. Take a look at the role social media plays in not only your life but your romantic relationships as well. Do many of your struggles revolve around social media? Do you have problems with excessive use of social media or do you feel addicted to social media? If you answered yes to any of these questions, it's probably time to take a break from social media platforms like Facebook and possibly seek help from a professional such as a therapist or counselor.
What is the disadvantage of Facebook?
Sometimes people say things online that they wouldn't say in person just to piss others off. For example, a troll might make sexist comments about not understanding women or sexualizing a woman in a way that is not desirable for her. People can do things for the impact factor or start discussions just to get started. However, this is just one potential downside of Facebook and other social media platforms. Other possible downsides to Facebook include comparison, envy, not feeling good or attractive enough, and having a place to virtually control your exes and their lives, which can make getting over a past relationship difficult. In romantic couples, social media can lead to arguments. For example, if your partner is struggling with jealousy or feels like they can't keep up with others and sees that you like someone else's photo, they may get jealous or angry. Also, someone can cheat on social media. These are examples of how social media can surface underlying issues.
Does social media create unrealistic expectations of relationships?
Social media is full of unrealistic expectations. Unrealistic expectations are not only held by celebrities or influencers, but also by people you know in real life. For example, you may notice that people post images that make them look perfect when they are actually edited in Photoshop. Relations are comparable to this phenomenon. While you can't necessarily make a Photoshop relationship, you can only post the best parts of it. the "highlight reel" if you will. People don't post about mundane nights spent in front of the TV, and more often than not, they don't post about disagreements. Instead, they post photos of vacations and accomplishments at work or in life. Posting innocent arguments instead of talking about them with your partner can be a problem in itself, but regardless, they are part of the bigger picture in real life. It's easy to forget that we may not see the full picture of another person's life, especially when they are working to portray the image of a "perfect" life or relationship. If you look at social media, you should know that a lot can happen behind closed doors and it's not an accurate representation of anyone's life.
How many relationships fail because of social media?
It's hard to say how many relationships fail because of social media, because when they fail and social media is the catalyst, something else usually happens, for example. B. Fraud. I just randomly found out on social media. However, some professionalsto saythat Facebook has become a dominant reason for the breakdown of marriages. You don't have to give up social media entirely if you know you have the potential to use it healthily and you want to keep your account. Just keep in mind how you use it and how it affects your mental health and your relationships. Remember to spend time offline with your loved ones and align with your true values. If you are concerned about your personal use of social media or how it is affecting your relationships, be they friendships, family relationships or romantic relationships, it is important to seek help from a mental health professional. Search for a provider online or in your local area to find the one that best meets your needs.
What should you avoid when on Facebook?
FAQs
How Facebook is bad for relationships? ›
Negative impacts might include trust in partner or jealousy. Social media can affect our relationships as an active user and high usage can lead into a person into engaging in inappropriate activities. These negative outcomes included cheating, separation, and divorce.
How Facebook destroys marriages? ›Heightened amounts of Facebook use have been shown to lead to general marriage instability and dissatisfaction. Facebook can encourage relationship destructive behaviors such as flirting, sharing intimate details, establishing emotional intimacy, and engaging in sexual affairs.
Why social media kills relationships? ›Social media ruins relationships as it gives birth to insecurities, which gradually take over. One small comment or like from someone else can lead to serious problems over the years. For instance, your partner is actively chatting or interacting with someone on a social media platform.
What percentage of marriages end in divorce because of Facebook? ›A study conducted by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers showed that Facebook was the cause of an astounding 66 percent of divorces. The Journal of Cyberpsychology has also released studies showing similar trends.
Is social media Killing personal relationships? ›Although social media has many positive benefits, it has the potential to wreak havoc on a relationship. Some of the negative effects of social media and relationships include decreased time with a partner, missed connections, jealousy, conflict arising from disagreements or hurt feelings, and negative comparisons.
What is the #1 cause of divorce? ›It is no surprise, then, that marital infidelity is a leading cause of divorce.
What is the number one thing that destroys a marriage? ›Using Power and Control. This is by far the most destructive force any human can bring to a marital relationship, and obviously includes the use of physical and sexual abuse or violence.
What is the number 1 problem in marriages? ›1. Communication Issues. The most common complaint among married couples is lack of communication. Many couples put up with problems rather than try to fix them.
What is micro cheating? ›Summary. Micro-cheating involves participating in inappropriate intimate connections with others outside your relationship.
What is the main cause of relationships ending? ›The main reasons why relationships fail are loss of trust, poor communication, lack of respect, a difference in priorities, and little intimacy. This article discusses why each may cause a relationship to come to an end.
Why does social media ruin marriages? ›
Social Media and Marriages
Suspicious behavior and jealousy: Social media provides easy access for a suspicious spouse to monitor their partner's activity and interactions. And on the other hand, it can be used as a place for people to hide relationships or secrets. Both can lead to more jealousy and mistrust.
There are many risk factors for divorce such as marrying at an early age, low income, low education level, cohabitation before marriage, no religious affiliation, being a minority race, insecurity and unstable mental health, multiple marriages, premarital pregnancy, and having divorced parents.
Which couples are most likely to divorce? ›Married couples between the ages of 20 to 25 are 60% likely to get a divorce. Black women divorce at a higher rate (38.9%) than women of any other race. The military divorce rate is 3% on average. In 2019 alone, 30,608 military marriages ended in divorce.
What are 3 bad things about Facebook? ›The use of Facebook can have negative psychological effects that include feelings of sexual jealousy, stress, lack of attention, and social media addiction that in some cases is comparable to drug addiction.
What are 3 negatives of social media now? ›The more time spent on social media can lead to cyberbullying, social anxiety, depression, and exposure to content that is not age appropriate.
Why social media is very toxic? ›One of the most toxic things about the influencing phenomenon is the way it distorts reality. It's only natural for people to want to present the best side of themselves, but influencers often filter their faces, use effects to change the shape of their bodies and portray a very lavish and luxurious lifestyle.
How many marriages are ruined by social media? ›The researcher of the new study compared the divorce rate and the number of Facebook accounts in a certain state. Then he identified that there is a 4% increased divorce rate. In contrast, individuals who are irregular on social media were 11% happier in their marriages than those who used it frequently.
What percentage of relationships are ruined by social media? ›According to Chandra Steele, “68% of people's relationships have been impacted by social media, 61% reported looking through their partner's social media, and 53% of respondents chose facebook as their preferred social media platform” (Steele).
How social media destroys marriages? ›Simply put, an addiction to social media and online connections can cause spouses to become distant, hurt, jealous, or insecure in their marriages. Over time, this will make minor fights into major problems that may end the marriage for good.
How social media kills marriages? ›Jealousy is another issue that social media brings into a marriage. When one person uses social media excessively, this can lead to feelings of jealousy from their spouse – even if nothing inappropriate is actually going on. In turn, the jealousy can lead to monitoring of spouse's online activities.
Can social media Hurt Your marriage? ›
More and more studies have been released that reveal social media's harmful role in marriages. Researchers have found that increased social media usage could lead to more relationship problems, infidelity, and even divorce.
Can social media break up a marriage? ›Growing research has shown that increased usage of social media has had a negative effect on marriages and relationships. Higher levels of social media usage have led to more marital problems, infidelity, conflicts, jealousy, and eventually divorce.